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Monday, April 12, 2010
I Am Utterly Ashamed @ 9:43 PM

Today as I was browsing twitter I came across a link that made me curious, as I followed the link I swiftly hit play on the video before even reading what it was about. As Francis Chan stated the disclaimer about the video I felt I was prepared- although looking back now, I know I did not prepare my heart enough. The images of the people of India beating their friends and neighbors flashed across the screen. My stomach dropped and heart sank as I watched these Christians being bludgeoned to death. As the video came to a close I sat there weeping feeling more ashamed than I ever have in my entire life.

I feel so utterly guilty for making every excuse possible to not share the gospel with someone when the Holy Spirit prompts me. To say “No” and “Lord” in the same sentence is not possible. “Not right now God.” Or “He won’t want to hear what I have to say, Lord.” How blessed am I that the worst thing that could happen to me was that someone verbally abused me and shuts me out. My heart is so broken and so repentant for not doing exactly what I was called to do. I wept as I watched these videos, first for the pain they had to endure, but secondly for my lack of faith and commitment to doing what I am called to do.




i shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and i -
i took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.




the art of uncertainty.